Book Review: Oh My Goth: Jokes for When You Feel Dead Inside by Andrew Shaffer

Title: Oh My Goth: Jokes for When You Feel Dead Inside

Author: Andrew Shaffer
Genre: Humor - Jokes
Publisher: Indigo Dot Press - Copyright 2023
Publication Date: May 22, 2023
ISBN: 9781949769470
Read: March 26, 2023
Disclaimer: I received a digital advance reader copy from the publisher via Netgalley. All opinions are my own.

Synopsis from Publisher: Even the most jaded of Hot Topic clerks will crack a smile at this morbidly funny joke book compiled by New York Times bestselling humorist and low-key goth Andrew Shaffer. 

This illustrated collection is perfect for Halloween-or anytime, really, since true goths know that every day is Halloween.

Review: "You know it's hot out when goths start wearing purple." This direct quote is one of the many sad attempts to create humor in Oh My Goth: Jokes for When You Feel Dead Inside by Andrew Shaffer. The so-called jokes aren't really funny. The witticisms aren't all that witty. I feel as though I should apologize to the Hot Topic clerks mentioned in the synopsis because even they deserve better than bland goth-dad jokes.

"Some people are such treasures that you just want to bury them." That's precisely what I'd like to do with this book, unfortunately, I can't because I received a digital review copy. I may not be able to bury it, but I can delete it and try to forget I ever read it.

Book Review: How To Sell A Haunted House by Grady Hendrix

Title: How To Sell A Haunted House

Author: Grady Hendrix
Genre: Horror - Supernatural Thriller - Ghosts
Publisher: Berkley - Copyright 2023
Publication Date: January 17, 2023
ISBN: 9780593201268
Read: March 28-30, 2023
Disclaimer: I purchased a hardcover copy via Amazon. All opinions are my own.

Synopsis from Publisher: When Louise finds out her parents have died, she dreads going home. She doesn’t want to leave her daughter with her ex and fly to Charleston. She doesn’t want to deal with her family home, stuffed to the rafters with the remnants of her father’s academic career and her mother’s lifelong obsession with puppets and dolls. She doesn’t want to learn how to live without the two people who knew and loved her best in the world. 

Most of all, she doesn’t want to deal with her brother, Mark, who never left their hometown, gets fired from one job after another, and resents her success. Unfortunately, she’ll need his help to get the house ready for sale because it’ll take more than some new paint on the walls and clearing out a lifetime of memories to get this place on the market. 

But some houses don’t want to be sold, and their home has other plans for both of them…

Review: Dear Grady Hendrix... Get out of my freakin' head!

As a born-and-raised Southerner, How To Sell A Haunted House hits just a liiiiiittttllllle too close to home. (No pun intended.) Why do I say this? Well, let's see... 

Book: Protagonist suddenly loses both parent. 

Me: Lost both parents suddenly but years apart.

Book: Protagonist must contend with colorful family members.

Me: I mentioned I'm from the South, right? Colorful family members are the only family members we have down here.

Book: Puppets are central to the plot.

Me: Was a part of a puppet troupe in high school and knows the ins and outs of such all too well.

Book: Creepy dolls galore.

Me: Loves creepy dolls...except clowns. Clowns are creepy in general.

Therefore, I must kindly ask Mr. Hendrix to please refrain from getting into my head when searching for material for his next book. (Naturally, I jest. I have no relationship with Mr. Hendrix--personal, professional, puppet-based, or otherwise in this realm of existence or any other.)

Needless to say, I loved this book. Even though the arguments between Louise and her brother, Mark, became a little tedious because they kept stomping over the same patch of ground, they were still believable as siblings. It's in the nature of Southern siblings to drag up every hurt and slight ever committed against one another. If there's one things Southern family are good at it's holding grudges. The other is keeping secrets, and there are plenty of both in How To Sell A Haunted House. There are also plenty of creepy dolls. So many creepy dolls.

Overall, if you're looking for a modern-day Gothic ghost story, check out How To Sell A Haunted House. You'll never look at dolls, or your family, the same way again.

Book Review: The Twisted Dead by Darcy Coates

Title: The Twisted Dead (Gravekeeper #3)

Author: Darcy Coates
Genre: Horror - Thriller - Suspense
Publisher: Poisoned Pen Press - Copyright 2023
Publication Date: February 7, 2023
ISBN: 9781728239231
Read: January 5-6, 2023
Disclaimer: I received a digital advanced reader copy from the publisher via Netgalley. All opinions are my own.

Synopsis from Publisher: Keira must decide if she should use her ability to contact ghosts to help the man who once tried to kill her. 

Hunted and haunted, all she wants is to put her mysterious past behind her and move forward with her new friends as Blighty Graveyard's groundskeeper. But then she receives an invitation to dinner at the local recluse's crumbling ancestral estate. The mansion is steeped in history that is equal parts complicated and bloody―and at its center is the man who once tried to kill her, now begging for her help. 

Dane Crispin believes his home is haunted―and that the unquiet dead clawing through the ancient house are after him. Unnerved but intrigued, Keira opens her second sight and discovers he's right: resentful specters cling to Dane…and if she can't find a way to stop them, threaten to consume everything in their path. 

There's something dark happening in the world beyond most peoples' vision, and if Keira isn't able to sever the ties between the living and the dead, the chained spirits may not be the only things twisted beyond saving.

Review: The Twisted Dead is the third installment in the Gravekeeper series by Darcy Coates, and once again, Keira is up to her eyeballs in both ghosts and trouble.

The story starts when Keira finds a mysterious invitation on the doorstep of her arson-damaged cottage in the graveyard of small town Blighty. The mystery deepens when she reads the invitation and discovers its from Dane Crispin--town recluse and the man who shot at Keira when she inadvertently strayed onto his property while trying to help a troubled ghost. Her friends, Mason and Zoe, have also received invitations to a dinner party at the Crispin Estate. From the moment the friends enter the Crispin family home, ghosts are literally coming out of the woodworks in this truly twisted tale. Throw in a road trip, an evil corporation masquerading as a renewal energy power, a murderer, some morbid humor, and a pleasantly dorky cat, and The Twisted Dead quickly turns into a horror fan's kind of party.

Even if you haven't read the previous books in this series (The Whispering Dead, The Ravenous Dead), you'll like The Twisted Dead if you love paranormal thrillers and gothic-style ghost stories. Followers of the series will find this a great addition that answers some of the questions raised in the previous books as well as new ones that will quietly eat at your soul until Book 4.

Book Review: The Prisoner of Fear by Chad Miller

Title: The Prisoner of Fear (Book 1 Doyle and Braham Series)

Author: Chad Miller
Genre: Horror - Gothic Fiction
Publisher: Hear Our Voice LLC - Copyright 2022
Publication Date: October 1, 2022
Read: Oct. 8-11, 2022
Disclaimer: Author requested a review and sent a free paperback copy. All opinions are my own.

Synopsis from Publisher:  It is 1889 in Philadelphia, and detective John Doyle is restless. Along with his miserable partner, Thomas Braham, Doyle pursues mysteries, strange sightings, and other obscurities tossed aside and disregarded by the police. For years, Doyle has taken on these cases in the hopes of discovering something supernatural - something that could upend and dispute his long-standing, debilitating fear that immortal souls do not exist. 

Doyle's search for the supernatural remains unsuccessful until he receives a strange letter from an old doctor friend regarding a young woman with a mysterious and rather disturbing illness. When the doctor goes missing in the same town that this young woman resides in, Doyle and Braham decide to take on the case and search for clues regarding their missing friend. In doing so, they discover that there is no longer any suffering young woman, but a dangerous abomination whose origin cannot be explained by science nor modern medicine. 

Meanwhile, an unnamed victim has been kidnapped. Trapped in a cell with nothing but a journal to document their experiences, this mysterious Prisoner must undergo terrifying scientific experiments while trying not to lose all hope and sanity.

Review: Anyone who knows me know I'm a huge fan of Gothic literature and its contemporary descendent, horror. My friends (and family) have heard me expound upon the virtues of dark fiction over the years. If it's dark, disturbing, psychologically scarring, and even the tiniest bit creepy, I'm all over it like flies on a corpse. 

So, dearest reader, you can imagine my excitement when I was offered a review copy of Chad Miller's The Prisoner of Fear. I waited with antici...............pation for it to arrive. When it finally landed on my doorstep, I was giddy, and yet I was in the midst of reading another book for review so I set Miller's book aside. Still, the cover haunted me. The promise of a Sherlockian-style mystery combined with the Gothic epistolary-based chills of Bram Stoker and Mary Shelley seduced me like a siren's call. For a week, I held firm and didn't give into that call. However, curiosity soon gave way to desire and I had no choice but to dive into those dark waters, whether for good or ill.

Oh, dearest reader, why did I wait to satisify my dark urges? Why, oh why, did I torment myself with fleeting glances at that haunting cover? Once I read the opening line, my resolve crumbled, and I came undone. Although I continued to read the other book in line for review during the day, I secretly stole precious hours each night to navigate the twists and turns and delightfully view the dark images Miller skillfully paints on the pages of The Prisoner of Fear. Yes, I lost hours of sleep, but what I gained is so much more valuable: a new "must-read" author. 

At the heart of Miller's work is a mystery that seems simple enough to solve. However, that simplicity is deceptive. I've admitted in other blogs that I'm often able to figure out the Who in most WhoDoneIt book, but Miller kept me guessing to the end, and then had the nerve to end the book with a cliffhanger. (AND the sequel isn't scheduled to be released until next year? WTF? Cue the hellish wailing and gnashing of teeth... *deep breath* It's fine. I'm calm. I can wait.) The plot twists were subtle and yet my mind was continually blown. Although I could tell a twist was coming soon the shapes those twists took were unexpected and shot the story into a completely different direction than I'd predicted. 

It wasn't until I'd finished reading the book that I realized the title didn't actually refer to a single character: The reader is The Prisoner of Fear, and like any good horror author, Chad Miller is the puppet master gleefully pulling strings. I, for one, will happily take up the roll of marionette. 

But....Miller, if you're reading this review, I have two words for you: Write. Faster.