Author: J.J. Counsilman
Genre: ????? (I honestly have no idea how to categorize this book.)
Publisher: Gadfly Books - Copyright 2013, Second edition
Review Copy Source: Free Kindle download from Amazon.com
Read: May 1-3...May 11...May 23-24...June 3...June 25...July 29, 2018
Format: Kindle ebook
Format: Kindle ebook
Disclaimer: I downloaded a free Kindle copy of this book after being contacted by the author via Instagram. I have received no form of compensation for this review, other than a free copy of the book, in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own.
Review: Where to begin? Let me start by saying that I have nothing against self-published books or authors. I have many friends who have chosen to pursue this avenue of publishing, and each has had varying degrees of success. However, one vital thing they all have in common is this---they know how to structure a story, develop characters, and most importantly, create an engaging plot within their respective books.
The Superior Men of Xinjiang fails across the board.
Rarely am I forced to admit defeat to a book. In fact, I know of only one other time I was forced to give up on a book due to the sheer amount of effort it took to read it because of a lack of ability on the author's part. Despite multiple attempts to engage with this book and read it in its totality, I must admit I didn't finish it. However, I do feel it's important to say the following opinions expressed in this review NOT a personal attack on Mr. Counsilman, who is most likely a very pleasant individual possessing many talents. I'm making statements as to the shortcomings of the book I was provided.
To illustrate my specific issues with this book, I'm providing the following samples---copied for ONE paragraph in the second chapter---directly from the text:
“The gang walked quietly to a rundown apartment complex on the west side of Guma (Píshān), which occupied a small oasis on the southern edge of the Taklimakan Desert, one of the largest deserts in the world. It was a poor town of a few thousand residents, most of who were Uyghurs, the native Sunni Muslims of the Xinjiang Autonomous Region of China."
For context, "the gang" had just picked through the demolished remains of the local police station and made away with guns and ammo and are now heading to their hide out. My first issue here is the use of parenthetical names. This is a common problem throughout the book, and it disrupts the flow of the sentence. Parenthetical insertions are widely used in nonfiction works such as essays, journal submissions, scientific and medical reports, etc. Rarely have I ever seen them used in fiction because they're viewed as disruptive. If a writer must rely on a parenthetical inclusion, then something is fundamentally flawed within the story.
The paragraph continues...
"Nearly all of Guma’s Uyghurs were farmers who raised cotton for market and vegetable, melons, pomegranates, and grapes for themselves and barter. As well as working in the fields, most wives of farmers made hand-woven carpets, doppas (brightly embroidered skull caps), felt, or a variety of clothes for sale. The farm houses were made of mud bricks and thatch, all with electricity by none with tap water. The business area consisted of small shops of various kinds, mostly run by Chinese, as was the town government."
This is the second chapter of the book. At this point I should know who the Uyghurs are in relation to the Chinese, or at least I should be developing a sense for it, and why there is conflict between them. I don't. I haven't the faintest clue why these two groups seem to be at odds with one another. I should at the very least have an idea of why "the gang" wanted to raid the police station for weapons. Again, I haven't any idea why the events are unfolding.
And yet, the paragraph continues...
"Years ago, plans by a conscientious mayor to help Uyghur farmers switch from cotton, which had lost most of its value after China’s entry into the World Trade Organization, to pomegranates failed because promised funds for an irrigation system never arrived. To his wife alone, the mayor complained the money was paying for the American education of the bastard children of Urumqi (Wūlúmùqí) officials."
Why do I need to know some mayor in the past wanted to switch crops? Does it have any bearing on the story? And who the hell are the "Urumqi officials?" I don't even understand the difference between the Uyghurs and Chinese and now there's a third group? *mimes head exploding* Sadly, I can't answer these questions because I have no clue what's going on in this story, and that's because the author has failed to properly set up the story arc, characters, and plot from page one. Yes, I'm citing an example here from the second chapter, but it's an example I feel encompasses many of the issues within the larger text.
The paragraph concludes...
"Guma was a poor town the environment and several layers of politicians conspired to keep poor."
Aaahhhh! This I understand. Why wasn't this stated in the first chapter when the environment of a story is typically created? Well....that's because the first chapter deals with the explosion of the police station and murder of the police chief. However, it deals with these events badly. There is no immediate scene anywhere in this book. The story could be set on Mars for all the connection I as a reader have to the region in which the story is supposedly based. In fact, I've read books that were set on Mars and had better world building. A reader wants to feel the heat of the desert. A reader wants to smell the pomegranates. A reader wants to see the vivid colors of the skull caps and who wears them. A reader wants to feel the ground tremble when an explosion rocks a tiny isolated village. None of that happens here.
The fundamental reason for this, I believe, is the distinct lack a point-of-view character. Forget finding a protagonist and antagonist for the moment. A reader needs an anchor, someone who can provide necessary information at the right time, whether that person is male or female, young or old, good or bad. The author must provide this tether from the real world to the story's world. This book fails to provide that tether, and the author fails to provide characters who represent the conflict between different factions. The lack of a clear protagonist and antagonist leaves the plot drifting through what seems to be a stream of consciousness exercise. The reader has no one to cheer for or to despise. We want to be Team A or Team B...maybe Team C if the writer is skilled enough to handle multiple threads. However, the lack of a point of contact for the reader to enter the story and experience it firsthand is one of the greatest sins a fiction writer can make.
It's the fundamentally flawed presentation of the story that, sadly, forces me to walk away from this book without finishing it. Can The Superior Men of Xinjiang be saved? Possibly, but at great expense in time and money paid to a very patient book doctor. However, in its current state of disarray and confusion, I cannot recommend this book to anyone.
Review at a Glance:
Concept: ---
Execution: ---
Writing Style: ---
Characters: ---
Reader Connection: ---
Overall Grade: ---
Would I Buy This Author Again: No. I've elected to no give this book any overall scores because I didn't finish it for the reasons cited in the above review.
The Superior Men of Xinjiang fails across the board.
Rarely am I forced to admit defeat to a book. In fact, I know of only one other time I was forced to give up on a book due to the sheer amount of effort it took to read it because of a lack of ability on the author's part. Despite multiple attempts to engage with this book and read it in its totality, I must admit I didn't finish it. However, I do feel it's important to say the following opinions expressed in this review NOT a personal attack on Mr. Counsilman, who is most likely a very pleasant individual possessing many talents. I'm making statements as to the shortcomings of the book I was provided.
To illustrate my specific issues with this book, I'm providing the following samples---copied for ONE paragraph in the second chapter---directly from the text:
“The gang walked quietly to a rundown apartment complex on the west side of Guma (Píshān), which occupied a small oasis on the southern edge of the Taklimakan Desert, one of the largest deserts in the world. It was a poor town of a few thousand residents, most of who were Uyghurs, the native Sunni Muslims of the Xinjiang Autonomous Region of China."
For context, "the gang" had just picked through the demolished remains of the local police station and made away with guns and ammo and are now heading to their hide out. My first issue here is the use of parenthetical names. This is a common problem throughout the book, and it disrupts the flow of the sentence. Parenthetical insertions are widely used in nonfiction works such as essays, journal submissions, scientific and medical reports, etc. Rarely have I ever seen them used in fiction because they're viewed as disruptive. If a writer must rely on a parenthetical inclusion, then something is fundamentally flawed within the story.
The paragraph continues...
"Nearly all of Guma’s Uyghurs were farmers who raised cotton for market and vegetable, melons, pomegranates, and grapes for themselves and barter. As well as working in the fields, most wives of farmers made hand-woven carpets, doppas (brightly embroidered skull caps), felt, or a variety of clothes for sale. The farm houses were made of mud bricks and thatch, all with electricity by none with tap water. The business area consisted of small shops of various kinds, mostly run by Chinese, as was the town government."
This is the second chapter of the book. At this point I should know who the Uyghurs are in relation to the Chinese, or at least I should be developing a sense for it, and why there is conflict between them. I don't. I haven't the faintest clue why these two groups seem to be at odds with one another. I should at the very least have an idea of why "the gang" wanted to raid the police station for weapons. Again, I haven't any idea why the events are unfolding.
And yet, the paragraph continues...
"Years ago, plans by a conscientious mayor to help Uyghur farmers switch from cotton, which had lost most of its value after China’s entry into the World Trade Organization, to pomegranates failed because promised funds for an irrigation system never arrived. To his wife alone, the mayor complained the money was paying for the American education of the bastard children of Urumqi (Wūlúmùqí) officials."
Why do I need to know some mayor in the past wanted to switch crops? Does it have any bearing on the story? And who the hell are the "Urumqi officials?" I don't even understand the difference between the Uyghurs and Chinese and now there's a third group? *mimes head exploding* Sadly, I can't answer these questions because I have no clue what's going on in this story, and that's because the author has failed to properly set up the story arc, characters, and plot from page one. Yes, I'm citing an example here from the second chapter, but it's an example I feel encompasses many of the issues within the larger text.
The paragraph concludes...
"Guma was a poor town the environment and several layers of politicians conspired to keep poor."
Aaahhhh! This I understand. Why wasn't this stated in the first chapter when the environment of a story is typically created? Well....that's because the first chapter deals with the explosion of the police station and murder of the police chief. However, it deals with these events badly. There is no immediate scene anywhere in this book. The story could be set on Mars for all the connection I as a reader have to the region in which the story is supposedly based. In fact, I've read books that were set on Mars and had better world building. A reader wants to feel the heat of the desert. A reader wants to smell the pomegranates. A reader wants to see the vivid colors of the skull caps and who wears them. A reader wants to feel the ground tremble when an explosion rocks a tiny isolated village. None of that happens here.
The fundamental reason for this, I believe, is the distinct lack a point-of-view character. Forget finding a protagonist and antagonist for the moment. A reader needs an anchor, someone who can provide necessary information at the right time, whether that person is male or female, young or old, good or bad. The author must provide this tether from the real world to the story's world. This book fails to provide that tether, and the author fails to provide characters who represent the conflict between different factions. The lack of a clear protagonist and antagonist leaves the plot drifting through what seems to be a stream of consciousness exercise. The reader has no one to cheer for or to despise. We want to be Team A or Team B...maybe Team C if the writer is skilled enough to handle multiple threads. However, the lack of a point of contact for the reader to enter the story and experience it firsthand is one of the greatest sins a fiction writer can make.
It's the fundamentally flawed presentation of the story that, sadly, forces me to walk away from this book without finishing it. Can The Superior Men of Xinjiang be saved? Possibly, but at great expense in time and money paid to a very patient book doctor. However, in its current state of disarray and confusion, I cannot recommend this book to anyone.
Review at a Glance:
Concept: ---
Execution: ---
Writing Style: ---
Characters: ---
Reader Connection: ---
Overall Grade: ---
Would I Buy This Author Again: No. I've elected to no give this book any overall scores because I didn't finish it for the reasons cited in the above review.
